Let’s create an affirmation that’s just right for you
I love to write #guided affirmations for my clients during Zoom sessions and in my Seekers coaching group.
A potent affirmation is the antidote to self-doubt!
Believing in yourself and measuring your confidence benefits you in every area of your life! But …
What if the affirmation feels too strong? Like a sauce or a drink that has way too much flavor?
Then it would be inedible, right? Unpalatable.
What can we do to dilute, modify, and adjust an affirmation so it’s just the right strength for you?
An affirmation story
Coaching a woman who had been badly stung at negative workplaces, I helped her get ready to put herself back out on the job market.
Her greatest goal was financial abundance.
As a high-earning executive, she knew that her quickest way to achieve financial abundance was through her salaried position.
I offered her daily accountability for this list of practical steps:
- polish up her LinkedIn profile
- ask colleagues to swap written recommendations
- re-write her CV
- draft a cover letter
- take well-lit headshots in professional clothing, against a plain background
Those were all useful and necessary steps.
She got them done (I even personally helped her re-write her LinkedIn, her CV, and her cover letter).
Inside herself, however, she wasn’t emotionally ready at all.
These were her fears:
They’ll use me and abuse me
I’ll fight with my manager and cry myself to sleep again
They’ll give me tasks that are too hard, and they’ll criticize me
Her deepest core negative beliefs were that she wouldn’t be able to keep good boundaries, and she’d fall back into a doormat role.
I tuned in to her guidance and wrote an affirmation for her:
“I am powerful.”
To my surprise, she didn’t like it!
“I’m sorry, Shannon,” she said in a call. “I just can’t believe that. Maybe later. But for now … it doesn’t seem true or possible.”
We decided to modify the affirmation step by step until she could honestly say it out loud and believe it.
The first line is the affirmation, and in parentheses is the person’s reaction, or back-talk to the affirmation.
- I am powerful (oh goodness, really? Not yet, eh? This is too strong!!
- I believe that I am powerful. (Oh my. But I don’t. No way)
- I have permission to be powerful. (Nope. I don’t. That’s the problem!)
- I give myself permission to be powerful. (Maybe. Getting warmer)
- I believe I can give myself permission to be powerful. (Also a maybe)
- I am starting to believe that I am allowed to give myself permission to be powerful. (This is MUCH more comfortable. I can say this, even if it’s long, I actually do believe it).
The final edit: let’s change “be” to “become”
We were so close at this point.
I asked her Guides which word needed to change, and we landed on “be.” - I am starting to believe that I am allowed to give myself permission to become powerful. (Yes. This I can say authentically).
Finally!
Certainly, it’s a mouthful.
Does it work for her? Yes.
Now she’s interviewing for positions and getting callbacks!
Your Turn
Where are you on this scale from 1 to 7?
I’m going to repeat the affirmations as above, but with the word “I” in them.
Read them out loud, and stop at the one that you can say with confidence.
- I am powerful.
- I believe that I am powerful.
- I have permission to be powerful.
- I give myself permission to be powerful.
- I believe that I can give myself permission to be powerful.
- I am starting to believe that I am allowed to give myself permission to be powerful.
- I am starting to believe that I am allowed to give themselves permission to become powerful.
Please edit the statement so that it fits you even better.
Shorten it, switch up the pronouns, and change the word “powerful” to the adjective you need today.
Let me know how it goes!
Comment and tell me which number you stopped at and how you re-wrote it to suit you best!
Peace and power,
Shan
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